Monday, 4 August 2014

The squat Heavy Industrialist Union - Episode One


- Boss, PSSSSS, BOOOSSS !
- YEAH YEAH ! now WHAT !
- I think We've stopped moving and bouncing, it feels safe now…
- You're right Koch, it seems we're in a safe place now, any news from August?
- Nope, perhaps we should try to get out and see?



- AHAAAA No package can withstand the might of the Killdozer SD4000 ! Dan it feels good to breath some fresh air at last. There's a strange smell in the air though but I guess it's nothing to be surprised of in an alien planet…





- Now WHAT is THAT sweat beard ! Look at that hideous creature ! Ever seen something like that before Koch?
- Can't say I have boss but LOOK ! August is dead ! It seems it's been raped in so many ways and so many places I can barely recognize him anymore !


- AAARRRH that creature's fast ! It's even running faster than my Killdozer at full speed ! Koch, hand me the emergency grudge book with some blood and pen, I want to write that Soddin' creature's name in that book. I promise on my first facial hair I won't let that crime go unpunished !


- Excuse me guys, anyone seen a giant lizard rapist? He's about that tall and… HEY but wait a sec ! You're stats aren't you ?
- OUI ! We are des nains like you ! We just have a little problem, we have been left unfinished on this planet and we want some help…
- Oh what kind of sick and twisted mind could let you go away with half you paint on?
- You tell me monsieur !


- Oh but look ! I fink I see somefing ahead ! It iz what we are looking for !

- Ohlala ! Open zis right away !


- Boss! look zere is even zat skin tone you love so much !


- Hello Gentlemen, my name is Space Roger and these are my fellow space adventurers ! We've been lost on this planet after being frozen by a mad man who overed in a silly layer of varnish, now look ! we look like we've spent the day in the freezer !

- You sure look bad kiddo, but we're no much better looking than you guys !



- I can see that, I hope you fare well and that you can recover from this, Alright lads, to infinity and Beyooooond !



- Those guys were a weird bunch to say the least…
- Yeah, sure thing but would you be better if you had been frosted like they have? They look like half the guys they were. I've heard their stories were shown in the Holo-vid…
- Still… oh but Look ! there's a huge place of water ahead, could it be our destination or just another step?
- Don't know what does the com link says?





- Hum… Looks like we still have to cross this english channel? I don't know what awaits us beyond but the other people of the Union are counting on us...


Next episode : a journey across the channel galaxy…

PS : I fucking frosted all the models I had painted for BOYL… More to come.

23 comments:

  1. Wait, the varnish went bad? That absolutely sucks! But this whole post was incredible! Awesome! And so jealous!

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    1. Yep, I screwed the varnish because I used an old can and I rushed. It ended in the models being all frosted? I think you can all understand the way I feel right now. I may be able to save them but they will NEVER look as good as they did now…

      Glad you loved the post, more will come as BOYL takes place… ;)

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    2. I've heard some people say that a second coat of varnish will undo the frosting.

      Great set of models though.

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    3. Sorry to hear about the frosting mate. There really is nothing worse :( I've also heard that a second coat can take the edge off, but I've never tried it myself.

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  2. That is a kick in the head, sorry to hear it. I live in fear of this happening. Your family must think you're bonkers crawling around, muttering to yourself, taking pictures of tiny monsters and killdozers in your garden.

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    1. I'm at my in-laws right now and though they're accustomed to my eccentric behavior, I think I've just crossed a reach a new level in their "wacko ladder" ;)

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    2. When I engage in more extreme preparations for blog posts I often find that I chicken out half way through. Kudos for sticking through the prep for this one and in your in-laws place too, nice one.

      I varnish by hand for the last few years. I had frosting issues too many times. Apart from the mancave burning down or something equally apocalyptic, its about as demoralising a thing that can happen in the hobby I think.

      My sympathies, thats some extra shitty timing. I hoe that its doesnt dampen your enthusiasm for the weekend too much.




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    3. Motivation altered? nah never ;)

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  3. Yeah, I've heard that too StoneCold, but I've never had the misfortune to have to attempt it myself......so I have no clue if it's BS or not. I have a feeling it's more likely the former.

    That's a real shame JB, no words could possibly ease the pain you must be feeling right now. Just hope you can figure out a way to rectify it & then pass on that knowledge to the rest of us :)

    On a lighter note, that backyard story was ace!

    Cheers.

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  4. The second coat of varnish has already saved my Nurgle champion set from the same curse (maybe I should learn how to varnish properly…).
    I've just put on a new careful layer of brand new varnish and it's fixed most of the problem. It looks odd because too much varnish does that and now the contrasts and bleedings are not what they used to be, it kills the vibrance of the colours but on the other hand it's still 100 times better that a white model…
    I used AP's anti shine Matt spray and it looks OK.

    What pisses me off the most is that the Space roger gang was meant as an entry for the painting competition… (sigh)

    Glad you loved the story, the Killdozer and the LE fimir have been sent to me by an australian oldhammerer who wanted to be part of the BOYL fun in some way. Yo can't imagine how glad I was to open that box ;)

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    1. Glad you managed to salvage the models. Spray varnish just sounds too unreliable judging by the amount times I've heard people say it's frosted or dried shiney. Brush on all the way for me. :)

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  5. You sir are a doofus of the highest order. That is a compliment by the way, usually reserved for those flashes of genius bordering on stupidity displayed by my 3 and 5 year old.

    Post of the year.

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    1. I've had great teachers (namely Private Weird and my 3 yo daughter). Cheers !

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  6. awesome post, shame about the varnish =(

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    1. Yeah I know. It's the second time I do that in 2 years, Temperature is a factor I don't consider enough when I varnish and rushing on that part is NEVER a clever move. I really hope this was a last time.

      Thanks ;)

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  7. Very enjoyable post JB! Devastated for you on the varnish disaster...I know the rescue won't be exactly as good as you had hoped, but I'm sure they figures will still look great.

    I know it's no consolation, but it's happened to most of us...for me it was my Necromantic Blood Bowl team :(

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    1. I've applied another layer and they look a bit better now. Nowhere near what they were before but at least they're less shameful than before. I knew I was doing something wrong rushing on that part but I wanted these guys varnished before riding 10hours to Normandy…

      If it wasn't for the perspective of BOYL at the end of the week, I would be devastated, that's about 15 models representing all my output of the last few months…

      Nevermind, I've never heard a frosted model could prevent a guy from having fun with like minded folks ;)

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  8. Your friends and allies from The Squat Liberation Army salute your transmission and wish you luck on your journey, Mr. ALMan and SHIU. And take heart that everything with frosting usually tastes better!

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    1. Roger that ! The SHIU will provide you with intel on the events once they reach their target. The positive effect of frosting has yet to be identified but the experts will dig the lead you give us.
      SLA and SHIU united as ever.

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  9. I winced when I read about the varnish, my commiserations. I hope it can be fixed.

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    1. Well, fixing is done and though it won't look as good as it did before, it's still a decent tabletop level now. A lesson was learned and now I need to finish my squats just to break this curse.

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  10. Oh man, what a disaster!
    It did make for a highly entertaining blog post though.
    Glad to hear you could salvage them somewhat...

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    1. James's package was one of the reasons I did not snap actually… ;)

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