Monday 11 August 2014

The squat Heavy Industrialist Union - Episode Three

- Sarge, sarge ! I really don't feel confident in this floating engine, are you sure it can take the weight of the Killdozer?
- That should be OK August, we don't have any other mean to cross that channel anyway...

- Sarge, these people look strange, it's all too quiet and calm, I don't know what to think, I hope we land soon…
- Come on August ! We've just left the port ! Look at the sat-nav, we're on our way to fight for the Heavy Industrialist Union ! Our people has placed all its hope in our hands ! Now let's get back into our crate and wait until we arrive...

- Wow  August ! Wake up already ! I spy eldar scum ahead ! We can't risk an open confrontation for the time being ! Let's get somewhere else !

- Sarge Sarge ! Look, some brothers ahead !
- hey guys ! we're squats just like you ! we're so relieved to see you around
- …
- Oh you see quite busy for the time being, maybe we'll come and say hi later, good luck with the battle !

- Hu Ho! Sarge! I don't think that was a wise move to go straight ahead, it looks like we've just fallen into the trap those pesky eldars have set for us ! we're in the middle of a whole Slann army !
- I thought they had disappeared centuries ago !
- Nah, it's what they want you to think, but believe me they're doing just fine...
- Let's show them the power of our sacred 'dozer August, hit the gas !


- Oh Good !  Now THAT is a silly place ! Look at those guys ! they're all mutated and perverted ! They must be under some kind of drug or something…
- Sarge, I don't fell comfortable here, can we get away quick?
- Sure August, let's get away...

- Oh Holy Beard ! Those are even more perverted and twisted than the ones before !

- August, is it just me or are all the places we visit always more scary and dangerous?
- That was exactly my thought Sarge…


- Just what the HELLL ! Look over there, this ridiculous chicken mercenary has just tried to roast us with a missile, who does he think he is for the love of beer !

- Let's get somewhere else ! Now there's none at least…
- Errm Sarge?
- Yes?
- Look, it seems we're surrounded by really REALLY small people… and they look to be in the middle of a fight !
- Now these are small !  Don't you find them ridiculous ? I've always thought small people are ridiculous.
- Erm, aren't we small Sarge?
- August…. August my friend, we're squats. This means we're just the right size. Anyone taller than you are is just stupidly too tall and anyone smaller than you are is just mockingly too small, that's just the way it is.
- Oh Ok Sarge…

- Now THAT is a creepy place...

- You know what August?
- Nope Sarge.
- Well I just LOVE countryside you now. it's calm and quiet, it's peaceful and pleasant to the eye, it's so relaxing...

- Oh COME ON ! Is there a bloody place we can cross that damn river or what !

- You see what I see August?
- Errm, people fighting with swords screaming they're the princes of the universe and talking about some kind of Magic?
- Yep, well I tell you this place is silly. Let's move on, I'm sure we're not far away...

- I just can't believe it Sarge !
- Alright brothers, let's show that intergalactic scum that the squat Heavy Industrialist Union is not here to play and that we mean business. We represent the whole union and I intend to come back from here with honor !

- WHAT THE HECK, don't this underhivers have any manners? I've just had the dozer repainted you piece of crap !

- Will you shoot those morons August please?
- My pleasure Sarge….

- Oh, I see some fuel tanks here, let's pick some. My grandfather use to say "always travel with empty nuts and a full tank".
- Oh look Sarge, there's a guy combing his hair while he's riding is bike
- Well I tell you August this one is about to finish his dandy career in a wall...

- Look at here ! This guys are just crazy, they're driving just under our nose ! Now look at this hairdo. They don't even have beard and they act like they look good or something. Ri-di-cu-lous.

- Oh and what did I tell you about that queery biker? See how he smashed into that wall?

- Sarge… I recognize this tour bus. it's the Mushroom Klowds…
- The WHAT?
- They're that fancy glam rock ork band that was soooo popular in sector three
- Oh really? They look like any other ork to me, let's ram that silly van.

- Damn I missed them !
- Oh but look Sarge ! it seems none of them were wearing their seatbelt, they've all been ejected from the vehicle.
- Oh really? MWAHAHAHA !

- Now let's see if you can record that bass solo in one take !

- Now let's bring that fuel back to our place, I think we've cleared the place like we were meant to.
- Nothing can beat the Killdozer 5000 and the squat Heavy Industrialist Union !
- Well said August ! Now grab me one of those bears in the fridge under your seat will ya?
- Sure sarge here you are !

- Oh Crap , I think I've had too much to drink actually, that 53th beer almost got me drunk !
- Sarge look ahead there's a wall !


- Oh shit, what have I done, why is there a bloody wall in the middle of nowhere ! Here's what I'm gonna do, I'm just going to put those pieces back into place like nothing ever happened alright?
- Sure Sarge, everyone's waiting for us, we have to get back home !

- You know what August ?
- Nope Sarge?
- Well Iv'e forgotten what I was about to say but I can tell you one thing : it feels good to be heading home but I'm going to miss that place as funny as it seems.
- Are you crying August?
- (Snif) Nope Sarge, its just the salt in my eyes… (snif)
- Oh OK, (snif) me too...

 - Look brothers !
- Yep, that was a nice place !
- I'm really happy we came here !

- I'm going to miss that place…
- Maybe we can vote to come back at the next union assembly?
- we should do that ! yes !

- Well this is just a goodbye then !
- I've heard they say "Au revoir" there…
- and I think you've just made that up…

THE END…   ?

- How are ya doing? Sssartong luuuves the little onesss
- oh ! you know what? I was just about to go that way so fare well and …. 


  1. Whatever drugs you been on why havn't you shared them with me? :P heh

    1. Massive doses of lead, game and comradeship for 2 days, I think you've been under the same diet pal !
      I was very glad to meet your sexy self even if we didn't get the occasion to play a game.

  2. Fantastic bearded adventures in a foreign land! I love the journey across the different BOYL zones!

    1. I think we all owe on certain australian guy and his irish colleague one hell of a fun game ! I had real laughters on the Gorkamorka game and all those tables were such a wonder ! I've forgotten to take pics of the dozer on the siege tabs and the big EPIC one but the squats must have taken a shortcut at some point...

  3. Good to have finally met you JB! See you next year!

    1. Pleasure genuinely fully shared Paul. I hope to share more than a drink next time but an actual game. I mean it.

    2. Believe it or not I only played one game and GM'd a second all weekend. I was so busy talking to people! I will definitely organise things better next year. I had a Sensei warband all ready which never came out of the boot of my car :( things went by so quickly.

    3. Well I was afraid that having 5 games booked was a little ambitious but it ended being just fine. If you want to use your sensei in a quick and easy fun game we could let you have the rules and scenario so you can enjoy the pleasures of "the quickening". I think sharing the scenarios once they've been played is a good thing because it offers quick opportunities to the community.

  4. Glad you got back ok, it was great to meet you at last, same time next year?

    1. I hope so !

      I got OK but half the ferry was puking because of the storm and waves ! That didn't alter one bit the big smile I sported all the way though. Thanks a lot Colin, I've really had tons of them with the lot of you !

  5. Like I said you are a doofus of the highest order. Great set of highlights of the days and certainly hope we get a game next time round.

    1. I was really pleased to meet you and all the others, it really ties us all and makes all this experience excellent.
      I already have great expectations for next years events in terms of games and I will do what it takes to play some people I missed this time.

      Thanks a lot !

  6. Brilliant blogging JB :)

    It was great to meet up, although apart from the lack of sleep it seemed a little short in some ways. We still have a long list of scenarios and games to cover.

    See you next year I hope :)

    1. Thanks a lot Paul !

      Good things are always too short and this one was excellent so it kinda seemed like a flash. I am very glad I got back on the gaming tracks with the lot of you and my creative batteries have been refueled beyond my wishes.

      I hope we meet again and can enjoy both games and the time between games ;)

  7. I have really enjoyed these posts, gutted that I had to miss BOYL this year, great to see every ones photos and your interesting narrative rules, thanks J

    1. Good ! I'll get back to more casual posts to review this event but I thought this could be an original way to show the wonders of BOYL !

  8. Hah! Fantastic. I enjoyed that. Bloody lovely squats too. Hopefully I'll see them in person next year.

    1. Glad you enjoyed this sort of biased view of the event. I'll cover things in my own personal way next but these guys had a terrific time !
      I definitely look forward to share a table with you if the gaming gods would let us.

  9. That was just brilliant, Mr. ALMan!!!! That had me laughing, cheering and feeling like I was there! Fantastic way to document the weekend! Looks like you had a wonderful time. Thanks for sharing this!

    1. Cheers Private ! Fantastic time is still an understatement of what I had actually. All the ingredients were there for a splendid time and it was a while since I last laugh this way behind a table. This community has a load of wonderful models an games to offer and even more wonderful people to provide them !


    Have nothing else to say :D :D :D

    1. You should have seen the guys in the ferry looking at me taking my pictures… Have they never seen a guy photographing a miniature Killdozer in a ferry with the port in the background.

      Thanks my friend ;)


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